i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
