..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
