i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
