I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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