This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize