I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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