Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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