I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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