I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
