There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
