Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
