Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
