i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
