her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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