and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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