i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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