yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
