im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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