i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
