I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
