Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
