I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
