I wanna passion pit in your ass
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
