this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
