I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I just put wine in my tea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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