Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Can you bring me the toilet please
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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