Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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