i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize