I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
the liver wants what the liver wants
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
