he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
