we're chasing vodka with high fives
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize