Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
