remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
