she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
