Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize