Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize