so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
