Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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