I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
