Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
