bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
