Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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