When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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