Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
