K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize