my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
