A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize