:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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