i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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