I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
