"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
