i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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