I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
