Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
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