so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
