the day after is always just damage control
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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