He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
