with your own penis?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize