??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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