hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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