It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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