You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
