Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
